Why It's Better Being a Man

 
>>>>> Men Are Just Happier People --
>>>>> What do you expect from such simple creatures?
>>>>> Your last name stays put.
>>>>> The garage is all yours.
>>>>> Wedding plans take care of themselves.
>>>>> Chocolate is just another snack...
>>>>> You can never be pregnant.
>>>>> You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
>>>>> You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
>>>>> Car mechanics tell you the truth.
>>>>> The world is your urinal.
>>>>> You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
>>>>> Same work, more pay.
>>>>> Wrinkles add character.
>>>>> Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
>>>>> People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
>>>>> New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
>>>>> One mood all the time.
>>>>> Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
>>>>> A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
>>>>> You can open all your own jars.
>>>>> You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
>>>>> If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
>>>>> Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
>>>>> Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
>>>>> You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
>>>>> Everything on your face stays its original color.
>>>>> The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
>>>>> You only have to shave your face and neck.
>>>>> You can play with toys all your life.
>>>>> One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
>>>>> You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
>>>>> Men Are Just Happier People
>>>>>
>>>>> NICKNAMES
>>>>> If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
>>>>> If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
>>>>>
>>>>> EATING OUT
>>>>> When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
>>>>> None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
>>>>> When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
>>>>>
>>>>> MONEY
>>>>> A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
>>>>> A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
>>>>>
>>>>> BATHROOMS
>>>>> A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a
>>>>> towel.
>>>>> The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
>>>>> A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
>>>>>
>>>>> ARGUMENTS
>>>>> A woman has the last word in any argument.
>>>>> Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
>>>>>
>>>>> FUTURE
>>>>> A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
>>>>> A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>>>>>
>>>>> MARRIAGE
>>>>> A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
>>>>> A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
>>>>>
>>>>> DRESSING UP
>>>>> A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and
>>>>> get the mail.
>>>>> A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
>>>>>
>>>>> NATURAL
>>>>> Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
>>>>> Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
>>>>>
>>>>> OFFSPRING
>>>>> Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
>>>>> She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
>>>>> A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
>>>>>
>>>>> SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it .....
>>>>> and to the men who will enjoy reading it.
>>>>>